Ok, so its been a few weeks and I have a few things to share from my 5th class at Animation Mentor. This whole class was pretty much pitching/storyboarding and then laying out the idea that will become a newborn cartoon short in the next and final class. I was trying to think of something else to share, but nothing crosses my mind at the moment. At times I feel vain just for writing on here since I don't get many replies or comments on my work or entry's, like being out in the wilderness and talking to yourself out loud...hmmm.. But at any rate, thanks Kelly and Mayra for leaving me some notes, hopefully FAMILY will take the time to do the same someday as well!!
:p !!YOINKS!! d: Here's the goods, tell me what it makes you feel after watching it, first reaction. That to me is usually the most helpful for giving anybody feedback on work they've done than anything else.
Finally the film is online
11 years ago
1 comment:
First of all, you’re welcome. :) Happy to help. Anyway I like to be a little more thorough in my critiques (as I hope you will be when I get that short story back from you ;) haha) so here goes.
I like the juxtaposing of the massively built guy in the tiny chair (and with tiny legs) lol. The facial structure is fantastic. I love the way the shape of his face seems to contrast with a sort of softness in the eyes (that may be the eye color you chose doing that, great choice). Actually great facial expressions throughout. I think you pretty much have that nailed down. I also like the music, kind of chill, and it adds more poignancy to the calm look in his eyes just before he sees the planes.
The direction of the clouds looks kinda weird to me, like the sky is flipped on its side. It gave me a weird dizzy feeling whenever you pan across the sky.
I love how you panned slowly down from the clouds to the guy in the chair, but his image pops into the scene a little quickly considering how slowly your camera is supposed to be panning down.
Obviously we talked about the leg. I just noticed for the first time that he’s wearing army fatigues. I may just be unobservant but maybe bring the colors out a little more. Consider maybe a khaki shirt (more obvious army colors) or maybe like a military tattoo on his forearm or something.
Cloud formations (and clouds in general) are floating past a little quickly for me especially since that part of the film seems to be about the calm he’s feeling. Also, maybe it’s just me but the cloud formations that have shapes look too separate from the clouds in the back, makes the ones in the background look kind of painted on or something. Maybe because they’re doing faster than the other ones…?
I like the menacing quality of the plane sounds but they didn’t sound much like planes. That depends on what you’re going for of course.
I had to pause the video to see what he was reading, I think you panned a little too quickly over it, even a seconds pause on it (longer than what you have) would help I think.
I think I figured out why his leg coming off looks weird. When he turns around, if his prosthetic leg had come off we would still be able to see an empty pant leg where the leg came off, and the prosthesis would probably be more flesh colored, not the same color as his pants. Also there’s some weird reddish streaks near the area where the leg fell. Makes it look like blood.
Finally (yes finally) I’m not sure if you’re going for realism or not, but there’s two things: first the dog kind of slides back when the guy turns around, which a real dog probably wouldn’t do. And the horizon looks a little too flat, perfectly straight as it were.
Great work though. Keep it up. :)
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